Work is Important, But Family Comes First

The realization of time at home being most important

Everything came together late last week when my wife looked at me to confirm that I was taking Monday off. My mind immediately went to my part-time after school job, but she said,

“No, from school.”

“O.K.,” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

My wife looked at me and nearly started to cry. Confused at this sudden display of emotion, I asked her why she suddenly had tears in her eyes.

“Because I expected you to put up a fight, that’s all.”

It was at that moment that I realized that she was one hundred percent correct. In the past, the mere suggestion of taking a day off from school would have been verboten. For reasons I cannot explain, my punctuality and attendance at work was something that I wore like a badge of honor. My dedication to my job, with examples such as answering parent emails from a gym treadmill and showing up exhausted or sick “for the kids” was something that never wavered. Yes, sometimes taking a day off is more stressful than showing up, but it was more than that. My dedication to being there every day was something that was noticed by administrators but was also something that I became obsessed with. Marriage didn’t change it, and even the birth of my daughter took some time to affect my steadfast determination for stellar attendance. However, things started to change this school year, which has led to a much better feeling when it comes to work and life balance.

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Being present at school was always my number one priority, but on thinking about it as the school year kicked off, I wondered if things were in the wrong order. With a daughter at home, I realized that time with her was precious. The sick day from Monday led to a wonderful morning at home before I took her to school, and while there was a stressful moment or two, it was much more fulfilling than being at work. I had finally, by taking a day off without protest, put a boundary around my family life, and it felt amazing.

My little girl means the world to me, and an anecdote that I’d heard before came to mind as I was dropping her off at school. If something happened to me that resulted in my passing, my daughter would grow up without her father. She would not be able to replace me. On the flip side, the school district would probably post the opening within a matter of days, and I would easily be replaced. While I’d heard the advice countless times before and thought little of it, looking at a little girl who can express her emotions, including vocal protest when I must leave the house, she needs to be my number one priority.